Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Randomize
