i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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