So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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