I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
