Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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