accomplished twins. life is a go
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
