she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
