you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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