he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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