I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Barsexuality is the new black.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
