I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
