that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
