i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
