Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
