i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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