Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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