What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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