it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
