She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize
