i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
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I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
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My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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