i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
