wake up i wanna do it froggy style
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
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