It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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