I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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