I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize