Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
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