im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
