Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
what day is it and did you see me today?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
