He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
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I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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