First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize