Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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