apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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