singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
how drunk are you?
Several
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
