I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
