Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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