Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
