Soap is not a condiment
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize