Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
You're a waste of cheezeits
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
