discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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