I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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