When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
