There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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