he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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