It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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