you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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