never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
