I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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