Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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