I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
