Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
