I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
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Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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