Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
His nipple licking is glorious
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