Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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