Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
