1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
