I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
now i know why i became what i already was.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
