Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
