I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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