I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
