I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
