If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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