I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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