theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I will be naked everywhere
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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