too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
