So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
